Spin City

Alright gentlemen, it has to come to this. The party has been losing ground in the country’s political landscape. Not only it has lost trust and faith from the community it vowed to represent, it’s being marginalized by the Daggers as we speak.

The Daggers is sidelining its other incompetent pet party, and we don’t want to go there. Our only hope is the up- coming by- election; if we put on a good show the day before, and manage to garner sizeable swing votes, we could be salvageable.

The outcome of this EGM, as speculated by the media, is a no- win situation. Regardless of who stayed while the other left, it would further fragment the frail party. Due to your irreconcilable differences, the only viable option is to have both of you stepped down.

Think back all the work you have done so far. After all these years, your contribution to the country and the party, smeared by the last dirt of your political life. And all those unfinished jobs, what would become of the PKFZ scandal, the BN Coordinator? Your enemies would be dancing away the night. The daunting part comes after you stepped down: your once- supporters would turn their backs on you, some will even mock you. There’s practically no life, no comeback after this. Not even the opposition would risk taking you in, less you form a new party which probably won’t survive the next General Election.

Remember how ecstatic that day last year, thirteen- hundred representatives from every corner of the country voted to put the 2 most politically potent candidates on the top 2 posts, believing that the risk they are taking will worth the party’s rebirth? They have no doubt of your capabilities, they want to put you there to guide the party’s destiny, much like how the people of this country voted for a bipartisan. Can you let them down?

Big O, you are the lone ranger all the while, unfathomed but respected, your audacity is your trademark. Unlike your predecessor, Mr. Nice- Guy who got push around trying to impress everyone like a clown, you could do so much better than him and his nonchalant biography. The shit of PKFZ and KDSB was good, where the project overspent and failed miserably, it had sold more news in the mainstream media than any other scandals this year. If you get a cent for every copy which headline it made, you could be a million Ringgit richer. People love shits, they talked about it in coffee shops, blogged about it, made videos on You- Tube about it. Media cannot live without shits, and you, have given them a life. I would have signed you on for your biography on shits, PKFZ and what not.

And you, Sexy SL, you are the ultimate comeback kid, people love you for everything you do, they can’t have enough of you and want you back for more. You have personified the Healthy Citizen, and as Health Minister, your reputation preceded those before and after you. You are such a dominant character that the Head of Daggers assigned you the BN Coordinator. Not even Smiley V, Head of Pet Society, got that kind of assignment. If it wasn’t of your carelessness you would have made alpha ape in the party.

Now, there’s still hope for both of you. Thanks to the creative minds from South, the party could create the posts of senior mentors. Both will step down as President and VP, and appointed as SM of the party. SM can hold government minister post, so you can stay on to unearth the whole shit of PKFZ, as well as coordinating the BNs. The beauty of this is both of you would be mutually exclusive, you'd get no shit from each other from then on, and you may want to race each other to see who got more jobs done, and who is the scatophagous dimwit.

Do your jobs well, you could redeem yourself in the history of the country. Your supporters would stick around, they would get their fair shares, not to mention their rightful dignity. And as long as your son doesn’t screw up like LLS’s son did, he could well be the next rising star. When the time comes, you shall be appointed as directors of GLCs and draw an obscene salary. Happy ending, don’t you think?

I would go for LTL for Head. He’s young, well poised, clean history, he could go the distant.

All being said and done, the party has to make substantial progress, shows its component parties what it’s capable of. If the Daggers lose this party, they will tilt left even more and be even less secular, in their desperate struggle to stay in power. It would be a nightmare revisited.

Gentlemen, the moment of destiny is upon you. Go and surprise the world.